This has to stop! I have had sex four times in the past 2 days, with different men. This all started after my uncle raped me. Now I feel like I must get revenge. This did not only happen to me, it also happened to my roommate. We sat around and cried about it last week, while smoking weed. I really want to kill my uncle. Better yet, I should tell my parents. They would kill him. My passions are all screwed-up. I can’t figure out whether I like males or females. I have participated with them both. Don’t pass judgment because I never told you whether I was a male or female. Now, don’t you go trying to figure me out, just listen. I need to be heard!
I ask myself, after the fact, was the last sex act really worth it? I sometimes feel degraded and used. The worst part is that I am missing classes. If I fail physiology one more time, I can just forget the Physics degree. My GPA is 2.3 and I may not graduate. This situation is very heart-breaking because I can’t control myself. I thought about going to get help, but a therapist would show up on my mother’s insurance plan and she would start again with the same questions. She knows that I am bi-sexual and a possible sex addict. She just tip-toes around the topic by asking me who I am dating now. The next time she asks I will reply, “Your brother, who raped me repeatedly from age 10-13.” That would be deep and wreck her world. You are probably still trying to figure out if I am male or female, but I refuse to tell.
What shall I do and how can I get out of this crisis? There is nowhere to go and nowhere to hide. I am now getting angry with myself. Is there any hope for me with my disgusting habit? Sex with girls and sex with boys, it’s ridiculous. I think that the last girl I slept with tried to fall in love. I told her to go back to her own dorm because that was not part of the agreement. Is this passion or sickness? I asked the church to pray for me or cast this spirit out of me. They could not do it because they have their own demons that need expulsion. I am an addict, a confused, lonely, hurt, despondent, disguised, and dishonest sex addict. Next week I will tell you more about you!

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