How To Reduce Baby Mama Drama – Relationship 101 Series

1. Don’t be confrontational in interactions; remember to  keep the relationship collegial.
2. Do not try to mix business with pleasure (this means DO NOT have sex with your baby mama).
3. Limit the timing of face-to-face and phone interactions.
4. Call at appropriate times of the day (9:00a – 8:30p).
5. Don’t expect to change the person; it will only make your situation worse.
6. Watch your tone and choice of words with the other parent.
7. Remember that you are communicating only for the best interest of the child.
8. Do not bring your old excess baggage into the conversation. Get an evaluation for depression if you need it.
9. Don’t challenge the primary parent’s decision-making in front of the child.
10. Ask appropriate and non-threatening questions.
11. Do not request casual sex when extra money is needed for YOUR child.
12. Do not try to manipulate your child’s other parent in any way!

Although these are key instructions for successfully avoiding drama in the relationship, each parent should check out their mental status before trying to resolve deeper and ongoing issues. One of you may have undiagnosed feelings of depression, anxiety or schizophrenia.  This is no joke!

How helpful is this article in remedying stressful situations like baby mama drama? What would you think works better when dealing with this issue? Let me know what you think on the blog!

Check your evaluation at: Dr. Owens, M.D. Pre-Screen Mental Health Assessment

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  • J Alan

    “Baby Mama Drama”…definitely a term created in the 90′s during the influx in pre-marital sex, increase in divorce, and increase in teen pregnancy. All of those factors spell DRAMA.(period) When a child has a child you can not expect mature parenting to be an outcome. Can you imagine a 16 year old girl with raging hormones and a 16 year old male with raging hormones with undeveloped frontal lobes (clearly lacking the ability to make wise decisions). So your end result is disfunctional families and an increase in domestic violence police reports!!!

  • Jeremy

    Do you think the father causes alot of the baby mama drama?

  • Jeremy

    J Alan, wow, your starting to sound like a licensed theraphist…

  • Meltaine

    I’m a baby momma and don’t cause any drama.

  • admin

    @J.Alan and Jeremy Yes men do cause a lot of baby mama drama. Sexual exploitation is seemingly the main culprit here. I think another reason for BMD (Baby Mama Drama) is mentally ill parents who refuse to get treatment.

  • KNH

    condoms or birth control also reduce “baby mama drama.”

    • admin

      @KNH ‘I love it when the truth prevails!

  • Meltaine

    What about the fathers who don’t support their kids financially. Or the fathers who don’t spend time with their kids??

    • admin

      @Meltaine They should be incarcerated. That way, at least the kids will get a check from the state.

  • Adonis

    @Melataine your probably one of those select few mothers who have mastered the art of separation…which means you no longer have romantic feelings for your childs father, are not concerened with who the father is dating, and not dependent on the child father for anything other than minimal financial support. So I applaud you because you understand that your interactions with your childs father is clearly for the best interest of the child!

  • Jeremy

    @ Meltaine, thanks for coming on the blog and participate. How many other baby mamas does he have? Can you really expect him to give you both, time and money?

  • armageddon16

    Two Way Statement:

    Men stop going up in everything you see didn’t your mother tell you everything you see that glitters isn’t gold an take care of your kids because things like that make men like my self look bad an that would stop a lot of drama also spend as much time as possible with your kids because they look up to us and that being said our kids are our future an we are the present…SO STEP UP AN BE A MAN/FATHER OR DON’T REPERDUCE AN I’M SAYING THIS AS A PAPI MY SELF!!!!!!!!!! oh P.S. stop screwing your baby mama if your not going to be with her and your seed oh, your baby mama isn’t crazy keep in mind they do something’s to get back at us but instead of being a jack*** with them killem’ with kindness. Even though some woman need to go an lay on the couch an talk to DR.O in person

    Woman Stop pointing the finger at everyone but point it at your self it takes two to tango I keep hearing “YOU DID THIS TO ME” “STOP IT ” you help did it and then you have the nervous to male bash take control of your self stop starting fights an cursing out people over a man that’s maybe with another woman while you are fighting with the other baby mama so with that being said stop screwing your baby daddy…KEEP IT BUSINESS better yet do your best to be friends for the child is at heart an I’m not talking about sleeping friends either an stop saying men are crazy either he was crazy before you had the baby or you drove him to start acting out even though some of us do have metal illness……….LOL DR.O can you help us!

  • Meltaine

    @Adonis you’re are so right, I’m so over him. And in most cases there’s BMD only when the BM still wants to be w/the BD.
    @Jeremy he has 2 other BM. And all I want is minimal financial support, in the long run, he will regret not spending more time with his kids, not me. I wake up to my son every morning. My son has everything he wants and needs.

  • Meltaine

    @armageddon16 Yes it is a 2 way street, but no matter what comes out of it, a baby was born. Rather you wanted it or not, now you (man) Now on the other hand I know some females have to step up and take care of you’re seed.
    I know quite a few females that get no support from their BD, its so dad. Because I couldn’t imagine not being a part of something that I created.
    Its a sad situation, but its the truth.
    MEN need to step up to the plate.
    o don’t take care of their kids, but thats different BLOG!
    LOL

  • lma

    I would like to say that I have been a single parent for 13 years. When I realized that he was not going to be a responsible father. I did what I had to do. Yep, you guessed it!!! I put him on child support. Let me clearly state that it wasn’t for the money. I did it for my childrens long-term financial well being. If his ass croaks today (God forbid) my children will get their Social Security checks!!! NO STRINGS ATTACHED!!!!
    Live-Learn-Grow

    • admin

      @Ima I applaud you for being a strong women and handling your business. I would like to formally apologize to you on behalf of the sorry man that it not taking care of his responsibility. Continue to Stand Strong and be encouraged!

  • armageddon16

    i agree with admin but im a single father so i know where you are comming from an im saying that to all women but i would also like to say that i am sorry for this some men are not me men an keep moving forward because at the end if the day my little girl knows who is there for her…stay on top of your business an i’ll do the same as a single father!!!!!!!!!

    • admin

      @Armageddon Right On brother!

  • Essdie

    Dearest READERS! Will someone please contact those single fathers who are fighting to collect child support from female chid-birthers who have never been mothers?!! These men exist and work like hell to be good fathers and providers. They sacrifice career, socialization and relationships for their children; YET most references are to the poor suffering women!

    • admin

      @ Essdie What would we contact them for at this time is my question?

    • admin

      @Essdie, If you know a few invite them to post on the BLOG. I would love to hear their perspectives.

Categorized | Parenting, Relationships

About Dwight A. Owens, M.D.

As a practicing physician, Dr. Dwight A. Owens, has a respected voice in psychiatry that truly makes an impression. He keeps readers enthralled by refusing to shy away from controversial topics and pulling no punches. He also adds spice to the blog by commenting on the state of relationships at every stage, from the first encounter to the daily struggles in even the most satisfying marriages.

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