I Am Not Gay! : A Must Read for All Women Seeking Men for a Relationship

We have a tendency to clump  ALL men with differing life-styles into one category, GAY. I took a survey of 50 males (ages 22-31)  to help me gain an understanding of just what the male nomenclature is in today’s society.

Here are the summarized results:

1. Metro-Sexual:A stylish gentleman that is concerned with his appearance. One who will not limit himself to things that “men” are only suppose to do. He pampers himself just as much as a female would. He’s heterosexual. These men have no feelings at all for a same-sex relationship. They are usually mentally healthy and physically fit.

2. Effeminate: Is a man that behaves in a non masculine way. He has traits similar to a female. It can be seen in body language, communication, dress, and style of grooming. This could all be credited to this man’s upbringing. Keeping in mind, his ways don’t dictate his sexual preference. They are usually asexual and may only participate in masturbatory experiences.

3.  DL (Down Low): Although, most of society assumes that DL men are ones that date both men   simultaneously, the verdict is not out just yet. That’s one dynamic of the spectrum that needs a little more research. However, we will need subjects willing to come out of the closet (figure of speech only).  He usually suffers from either Bipolar Disorder or some other mood disorder because he is not happy with himself and confused about his true gender identity.  His sexual preference isn’t exposed for all to know. Yes, he is a man that dates both men and women, not necessarily at the same time. He’s a man that doesn’t identify himself with the GAY label/lifestyle.

4.  Homosexual: A gay man! A man that is attracted/sexual/dating the same sex. They’re usually suffering with both paranoia and anxiety disorder, as well.

5.  Flamboyant:  A gay man that is open with his sexuality.  Usually depressed or suffering from early childhood trauma. He doesn’t feel the need to conceal himself, or the person he identifies within himself. He tends to dress and act in ways similar to a female.

6. Straight Male- A rare entity in today’s society. One who reportedly has no interest at all in same-sex companionship to a level of intimacy. However, many of them in a dark room may concede to otherwise hidden behaviors.

Now I know that there should be a lot of discussion concerning this post. I almost want to leave a comment myself. However, the young men ages 22-31, all college educated, all live within a metropolitan setting and from differing backgrounds (30%=reportedly bisexual in the group, 25%=reportedly gay, 30%=reportedly straight and 15%=cared not to reveal).

Do you agree with the above categories for men? I want to hear how you would break men down in your hometown.

If any of you are struggling with your sexuality please take this survey: //www.drowensmd.com/index.php?option=com_php&Itemid=7

Dr. O

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  • Essdie

    Trust me when I tell you that the 15% that chose not to reveal are all something other than straight. The categories are intersting to read, but if you don’t prefer women exclusively… then you are gay to some degree. It’s all good, I just want to remind everybody to practice the safest sex you can regardless of who you are with.

    • admin

      @Essdie are you referring to the Kinsey Scale?

  • Essdie

    Hey Dr. O, thanks fo the vote of confidence, but I don’t know enough about the Kinsey Scale to use it as a reference with any confidence. I am just referring to life through my own eyes’ experience.

  • LoveAll!

    Hey Dr O,

    I know that this is an old post but I still thought I would comment. I would think that that is a great description of each. I think in my hometown gay would be gay and straight would be straight no in between.

    It wasn’t until I moved to Atlanta that I saw that the way males carry and looked in public that I wasn’t sure what gay was cause I would think that everybody was gay. Guys that took that much care of how they looked just like a women would be considered gay where I am from but here it was like the thing to do. But I think when people move to Atlanta they can get trapped in the flashy life style and it leads to other things. I have been in Atlanta for 5 years and graduating from the top school for males in Georgia, I realizing that its more to the flashy life style and it comes with a package from what I have experienced and your life can be tainted or pressured into something that you may not want to develop. But what do you do when you are constantly approached and thrown in situation that makes you feel like you have to adapt to not feel uncomfortable?

    I have been labeled gay from the way I carry myself. I like nice things and I like to dress well. Most of the time that is labeled as gay in Atlanta. Fitted jeans and t shirts is my style but can be taken in another way for some people. So I am approached all the time. Now here is the hard put, do I engage in the games? Well, it depends on the guy and the crowds that they associate with. I find myself not caring about sexuality. Even thought most of my friends problem think I am gay or bi, they truly do not know. It’s something I may keep forever cause honestly I like it all. To me it doesn’t matter what you are, I just prefer that I not be labels or be called “girl” with other gay friends. I just hate to be categorized just from the way I “may” look or what I do. And if having sex with another male is being gay then I guess I am guilty. I love woman just as much. Woman love me cause of my charm and they think I would make awesome babies from my looks and guys love cause they think I have the whole package and why should I let either one down.

    So am I not one that would put anyone in any of these categories. You are who you are and that’s it. But I guess you will probably let me know which one I fit.

    • AskDrO

      @LoveAll! Thanks for your openness. First, I must say you determine your destiny, your fate and your label. Many would suggest that if you sleep with men and your are male, then the assumption would be that you are gay. However, you don’t have to accept any label. Be strong, graduate and pursue your life dreams. Just remember you are what you eat!

      • LoveAll!

        Thanks Dr O., I appreciate it all. I need the feedback. I guess my question to myself would be What do I eat more of? Some times searching for the answer you want is not the answer that is most honest. I hope I figure it out soon.

        • AskDrO

          @LoveAll Hang In There and don’t feel rushed. It is nothing worse that messing-up some woman’s life by trying to conform to a certain standard that may not be comfortable for you. Meditate and pray to your higher being (you sound spiritual) and He/She will help you as you continue to grow and think rich. Stay on the BLOG. I like you feedback.

  • LoveAll

    You are totally right. Thanks Dr. O. I will be sure to do all of those things.

    • AskDrO

      @LoveAll welcome to the blog! Let me know if you have any hot topics you want me to right on….

About Dwight A. Owens, M.D.

As a practicing physician, Dr. Dwight A. Owens, has a respected voice in psychiatry that truly makes an impression. He keeps readers enthralled by refusing to shy away from controversial topics and pulling no punches. He also adds spice to the blog by commenting on the state of relationships at every stage, from the first encounter to the daily struggles in even the most satisfying marriages.

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