Can Women Have Sex with No Attachment?#Booty Call!

This is a question that I often have to ponder. I guess you all can just about imagine some of the questions that I get on this free online advice blog.  Some of the questions can be as long as two pages.  That is actually a full psychotherapy session. Many of you think that men ONLY just recklessly have sex, but I wonder if there are women who do just the same and are willing to admit it?    After all, if a woman is at a medical symposium or church conference and sees something that she really likes,(male eye candy) what does she do? Leave it on the shelf, I think not!

Now the video I want to share in this post is, “Women How Do You Know If You Are a Booty Call?” Take a Peek!

http://youtu.be/lVnI0Lzefag

What was very interesting is I could not find a male response to this what could be considered very damaging”male ego” video.  This video really paints us in a very negative manner. However, there are some women who do exactly what this lady states that men do.  If you disagree, hit me up in the post.

Men How to Recognize if You Are Just a Booty Call.

  1. She only calls you when her husband is out of town.
  2. You have to leave her house after sex.
  3. She only phones on the weekends.
  4. She doesn’t know your first name.
  5. She does not allow you to EVER shower at her place after sex.
  6. You attend the same pentecostal church.
  7. She allegedly is a virgin.
  8. She refuses foreplay.
  9. Marriage is NEVER discussed.
  10. She has NEVER introduced you to ANY of her family or friends.

Now that I have got that controversial list out there, let me share with you my clinical perspectives on this topic. Yes some women can have sex with no attachment! (This Is My Opinion) They do it all the time in the American culture. (with condoms) Many of my friends share stories about the occasional midnight hook-up or the fantasy Fridays.  They felt abused and let down after being asked to leave in the middle of the night. LOL Usually they got the call when the females husband or boyfriend was away or unavailable. I did a brief confidential survey of 58 men between the ages of 35-55. There were only three questions and the results are very interesting.

Questions

  • Have you ever slept with a married women?
  • Did she initiate the rendezvous?
  • Did you receive a gift or compensation?

Here is a summary of the responses;

54% of the men surveyed had slept RECENTLY with a married woman.

Of that 75% stated that the women in initiated the hook-up.

Of that 33% of the men actually received some form of voluntary compensation.(money, watch, etc.)

I am sure that many of you will have something to say about this post. Don’t be a punk ladies let me hear your true feelings. And men, if you have felt neglected, misused or disliked if you were just a booty call-feel free to comment on this blog-post.

Also if you are confused about the direction of your current relationship, pick up my e-book, “Am I in a Bad Relationship?” This is a hot seller.

Once again thanks for stopping by,

Dr.O

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  • Trueknowledge

    Women have been doing this for ages!  Too bad men are just figuring it out.

    • http://www.askdro.com AskDrO

       Most men are NOT aware of this information.

  • http://twitter.com/kekemichel KMBrandLiving

    I just created a PowerPoint presentation titled, “The Forms Of Love,” based on the Triangular Theory Of Love. It explains how the combinations of the components of love: intimacy, passion, and commitment, define the 7 forms of love (8 forms if nonlove is included), of which “Romantic Love” is one. Romance Love = intimacy + passion. This can be referred to as a “Booty Call.” However, with understanding that “Consummate Love” is a combination of all three–intimacy + passion + commitment, the form of love many strive to achieve, romantic love can become consummate love, if that third component, commitment, is included. This is a very complex theory. In my series, I will give a seminar on this topic. 

    So, women, and men can both be okay in a romantic love form of relationship, as long as there is an understanding. It gets messy when one of the partners wants more, when they know that is not possible, as long as the other partner is committed to someone else. Committed is the operative word too. I will stop here because I would take up a whole page. But, again, if a man is feeling abused, neglected, misused, or disliked in the relationship, he is the one that is wanting more, and the female wants to keep commitment out of the equation. So, a brotha has to keep it moving to find another form of love or the ultimate form–Consummate Love.

    Follow Me On Twitter | Subscribe to my blog http://blacknouveauwoman.wordpress.com/ | Subscribe to my paper Womanology http://paper.li/kekemichel/1317378776 | Thanks For The Support!

    • http://www.askdro.com AskDrO

       I really think that you broke down this lesson in the most excellent way. The problem is can we define the relationship, in the beginning, with emotions detached?

  • http://twitter.com/kekemichel KMBrandLiving

    Also, another psychological theory this is related to is Attachment Theory, also know as Attachment Theory Of Love, when we talk about adult relationship status. However, with attachment theory, if the caregiver/parent was attentive, responsive, etc., to the child from infancy, the infant will develop with a sense of self-love/love, security, confidence, and will be outgoing, sociable, and solid in their future relationships. However, if the caregiver/parent was not attentive, responsive, etc., to the child from infancy, the infant will develop with a sense of low to no sense of self-love/love, separation distress, little to no confidence, reticent, awkward and anxious in their future relationships. This person will be VERY clingy, suspicious, and monitoring of relationships. This theory goes for both women and men. So, if either are in such a relationship, it could be that all they want is the Romantic Love, form of love that I talk about in my initial post. However, a woman or a man who has sex with no attachment may be looked at as dysfunctional, flawed, out of control. This is a very complex issue.

    • http://www.askdro.com AskDrO

       Another perspective could be a signal of a Personality Disorder.  Some people in communities have problems with “trust.” This can be seem as a primitive reaction to abandonment in some instances. Also the fear of intimacy may prove to be an issue when one recurrently gets into dysfunctional or over-bearing relationships.

      • http://twitter.com/kekemichel KMBrandLiving

        Interestingly, from my Women’s Studies theory, a woman wanting to have sex with out attachment has to do with having ownership of their sexuality. With understanding that it, and they, were something that men owned. Such women would argue it has nothing to do with personality, but autonomy from patriarchy. 

About Dwight A. Owens, M.D.

As a practicing physician, Dr. Dwight A. Owens, has a respected voice in psychiatry that truly makes an impression. He keeps readers enthralled by refusing to shy away from controversial topics and pulling no punches. He also adds spice to the blog by commenting on the state of relationships at every stage, from the first encounter to the daily struggles in even the most satisfying marriages.

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