According to Will, parents should let their kids do what they want, not what the parents want them to do, basically. Check out the excerpt from his interview.

As reported by Haute Living:

The things you say and do in the world will affect the family for real. My style of parenting is very similar to that of my parents, minus the concept of ownership. I think that, specifically in African American households, the idea coming out of slavery, there’s a concept of your children being property and that was a major part that Jada and I released with our kids. We respect our children the way we would respect any other person.

I have mixed feelings about this, Willow may seem  a little “out there” to some when it comes to her wardrobe choices and musical selections (Jaden seems to be the more toned down one) but other than that, we don’t see too much negative press about them and from what we see in public, they don’t seem to be troubled young stars like so many other members of young Hollywood, considering that they “rule their own terrain”. So maybe there’s something to Will and Jada’s approach.  However, I don’t totally agree with the non-structured, approach to parenting. I don’t think kids should be free to do whatever they want in every aspect of their lives because kids don’t have the full mental capacity yet to navigate through all their decisions properly. That’s what parents are for, to guide their kids in the direction they need to go.

As far as claiming that Black people getting the idea of owning their kids from slavery, this I’m more decided on. The Black community is known for having a more disciplined home life, which “whoopings” and punishment (another thing the Smiths opt out of) but I don’t believe it’s detrimental in most cases (we’ll discuss the fine line between disciple and abuse in another post), but I do believe it’s affective when used properly.

What do you think about the Smith’s parenting techniques? Do you think they will backfire as Jaden and Willow get older or should more parents try their methods?

Dr. O

Picture source: http://www.sassygossip.com/will-smith-stands-strong-by-his-family.html

The post Will Smith Dishes on How Most Black People Think They “Own” Their Kids appeared first on AskDrO.com.

A while back, the word was out that she originally owed around two million dollars but it looks like that number has spiked since then (I guess the IRS  went back and double checked their work). Not to mention the speculation surrounding her shady, unpaid  scholarship awards or the “additional $900k she allegedly owes the Garden State” TMZ reported that she still owes.

As reported by TMZ:

The post Mary J. Blige Owes Uncle Sam Too! appeared first on AskDrO.com.

I would like to share with you the DSM-V (APA DSM-V Copyright 2013) criteria for this disorder. If you think that you might meet criteria, please notify your psychiatrist (if you have one) or your PCP (primary care physician). Please don’t tell me that you don’t have a PCP. If not, please call your insurance company or go to the nearest community health clinic because the life you save may be your very own. Remember that obesity can be a silent killer that leads us into a number of health sequelae that don’t look or feel good.

A. Recurrent episodes of binge eating.  An episode of binge eating is characterized by both of the following:

1.  Eating, in a discrete period of time, an amount of food that is definitely larger than what most people would eat in a similar period of time under similar circumstances.

2.  A sense of lack of control over eating during the episode.

B.  The binge-eating episodes are associated with 3 or more of the following:

1. Eating much more rapidly than normal.
2. Eating until feeling uncomfortably full.
3.  Eating large amounts of food when not feeling physically hungry.
4. Eating alone because of feeling embarrassed by how much one is eating.
5. Feeling disgusted with oneself, depressed, or very guilty afterward.

C.   Marked distress regarding binge-eating is present.

D.  The binge-eating occurs, on average, at least once a week for three months.

E.  The binge eating is not associated with the recurrent use of inappropriate compensatory behaviors as in bulimia nervosa or anorexia nervosa.

(Taken directly from the APA’ s DSM-V Manual)

Oftentimes the source of the eating issues lies in bad relationship dynamics. I need you to also go by www.askdro.com and pick up my book, “Am I in A Bad Relationship?”  This book will most probably be helpful for those of you who also meet criteria for this disorder.

Dr. O

Picture source: http://eatingdisorderfreeme.com/eating-disorder-treatment/binge-eating/binge-eating-disorder/

The post News Flash: Binge-Eating (307.51) in DSM-5 appeared first on AskDrO.com.

Yes, after Pat made this absurd statement, I was floored. First off, he’s pretty much telling women and wives to simply accept the fact that men cheat and to just get over it, like he just forgot to get you flowers for Valentine’s day or something. Yes, it’s been proven that men have greater numbers in the infidelity department than women but cheating is not something that just comes natural and should be expected upon entering a relationship.  Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous (Hebrews 13:4). There is such a thing as self control and I know the Lord to be a keeper and if you’re serious about keeping your family together and have committed that thing unto him, he’ll keep you and that rowdiness down below.

Second, I have a problem with the nonchalant way Pat addressed the issue of infidelity (sounds like he may have been a bit of a rolling stone back in the day) and how he sort of indirectly blamed the woman for the man committing adultery by saying a “woman should make a home so wonderful that he’s doesn’t want to wander”. Now you’re just adding fuel to the fire Pat. First you imply that it’s normal for men to “wander” then you imply that it’s the woman’s job to ensure that it doesn’t happen? It may be time to retire Pat Robertson.

Pat, the 700 Club is a respected show of believers where viewers call in for advice, words of encouragement and prayer and you basically tell the world on national TV that you condone cheating?  I’m sure the woman that wrote to the show about her husband’s affair wasn’t expecting to hear you tell her” to focus on the good things”, “touch his face” to reconnect and ” to thank God that you’re in a marriage that’s together and you live in America where good things are happening”. So people should give thanks for marriages filled with deceit and wandering spouses? But as long as your still together it’s fine, right?

Cheating is not okay and should not be taken lightly nor should it be expected or accepted by anyone. As a Christian based show, Robertson’s answer should have been Word based and the Word clearly says that “Thou shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14) not that “men have a tendency to wander” so it’s okay if they do. I was really disappointed that Pat gave excuses as to why men cheat instead of simply saying it was wrong and coaching the inquiring wife on how to properly forgive and move on.

Pat, I’m concerned. If this is the caliber of advice you’re adhering to these days, I may have to start a petition to have you taken off the air.

Enough said,

Dr. O

Picture source: http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/03/18/pat-robertson-says-bankrupt-families-should-give-him-just-20-a-month/

The post “Men Have A Tendency to Wander”: It May be Time to Retire Pat Robertson appeared first on AskDrO.com.

This past commencement season  at Morehouse College was an HISTORICAL one!  The first African American president  delivered the commencement speech yesterday Sunday, May 19th, 2013, which means that the Obamas are officially Atlanta’s honorary Spelhouse couple (for those of you that don’t remember, Michelle spoke at Spelman’s commencement not too long ago).  According to The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, this is the first time an active sitting president has given a commencement speech in the peach state since Franklin D. Roosevelt spoke at the University of Georgia in 1938.

As a fellow Morehouse man, I am more than proud to have had the first Black and active president encourage the next generation at my alma mater. Our president gets enough flak about what he’s doing/ not going, what he meant by certain comments and methods for running our country, so it was refreshing for him to be able to come out to support, encourage and uplift the community( the Black community in particular) and provide a physical presence to what we see and read on the news every day about him.

The AJC reported that Obama spoke to a class of 500 graduates in addition to 10,ooo on-lookers and afterwards was able to slip in some time at a Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee at Atlanta Falcons owner, Arthur Blank’s home.

Check out this excerpt from his commencement speech, as reported by AJC:

That’s what being a Morehouse Man is all about,” the president said. That’s what being an American is about. Success may not come quickly or easily. But if you strive to do what’s right; if you work harder and dream bigger; if you set an example in your own lives and do your part to help meet the challenges of our time, then I am confident that, together, we will continue the never-ending task of perfecting our union.

I must say that our president is man of excellence and poise who has a great way of reaching the people in his public addresses. I particularly agree with what he said in the video clip above about the 2013 Morehouse graduates extending their reach with their success. He told the graduating class that it’s all fine and dandy to go onto medical school but don’t just provide help and services to those that can afford it but make an effort to reach those who need it most, especially many members of the African American community. I totally agree Mr. President. Once you take the elevator to the top, make sure you ride it back down to pick someone else up.

Great job on your commencement speech Mr. President and thanks for powering through all this nasty weather for you Georgia supporters. I’m proud to call you a fellow “Morehouse Man”.

Dr. O

The post Barack Became a Morehouse Man on Sunday! appeared first on AskDrO.com.

AI’s audience seemed to have favored Caucasions with guitars over the past five years but Candice came for the win, shattering the male winning streak, after previously trying out for seasons nine and eleven. According to ABC News, “the previous five winners — Phillip Phillips, Scotty McCreery, Lee DeWyze, Kris Allen and David Cook — were all Caucasian guitar players, known to “Idol” fans as WGWGs, or white guys with guitars”.

Candice called herself the “poster child for perseverance in her immediate interview after her big win. I like Candice not only for her amazing voice but for the humility she’s shown throughout the process of this competition. She acted with grace and confidence and just utilized her natural ability. Not too mention that she’s a woman of color and particular size that has busted the AI norm wide open. If you remember in times past, plus size contestants such as ninth season’s Mandisa, “Frenchie” from season two and of course the most well-off non-winner of AI Jennifer Hudson did not make it to the finales although their voices were more than qualified to do so.

Thank you Candice for believing in your talent and going after what you knew you could have. I applaud your work on the show, your beautiful, sultry voice and I wish you much success with your growing music career.

What do you think of Candice being crowned American Idol’s 12th winner? Was this season better/worse than before?

Congratulations Candice Glover!

Dr. O

Picture source: http://www.rickey.org/candice-glover-when-you-believe-american-idol-12/

The post And the Winner of American Idol Season 12 Is… Candice Glover! appeared first on AskDrO.com.