Relationships are work. Period. The majority of people involved in them want the best for themselves and their partner. Being  compatible with someone you enjoy spending time with can be an amazing feeling but as can be expected, spending so much time together with one person will ultimately lead to disagreements about something at one point or another. It’s healthy for couples to argue every once and a while but constant screaming matches about any and everything is not a good sign and could lead to a  failed relationship. Want to know why some relationships don’t stand the test of time?

Here are a few of the top 10 reasons:

1. Poor Communication- Many couples have problems with communication. You and your partner have to be open and honest about all of the issues that come up in your relationship. If you truly want to grow, Don’t be afraid to speak your mind and or share ypur feelings. This is very important in a healthy relationship.
2. Infidelity- The grass looks greener on the other side, but it is usually withered. In addition, if your mate finds out about your infidelity, they may just get back at you by sleeping with someone else. How can a relationship grow when so much mistrust dwells inside of both of you? You and your partner may no longer trust the other to be the soul mate you’d hoped to spend the rest of your lives with, and that is the beginning of many problems to come.
3. Unemployment- Unemployment is so unattractive. Brothers: you have to get a job, or at least be actively searching for one in order to get a woman who’ll respect you and consider you a man who can take care of a family in the future.
4. Cash Flow Problems-“Money looking kind of funny?” Lack of funds usually lead to trouble. Having children (AKA “Extra Cost”) can strain the relationship, as well as other expenses.
5. Irregular Sex- Make sure that you and your partner are sexually compatible.
6. Premature Ejaculation: Let you partner know up front that logevity in sex is something you may require
7. Excessive Working: Working overtime may pay the bills but is it hurting your love life?
8. Having a sad pal:  Having friends that are always down and needy can drain your relationship.
9. Lack of Intimacy: Don’t forget to have a sensitive/sensual side.  Having sex is not intimacy!! Plan alone time and be romantic every now and then.
10. Unemployment: Failure to maintain a job or lack of goals can turn your partner off.

Breaking up is hard to do but when you’ve made up your that enough is enough, it’s all a matter of figuring out the right time to deliver the blow.  Relationships break down for all kinds of reasons. Financial struggles,changing  family dynamics, or infidelity are reasons people decide to call a quits.
Once you’ve had your last straw and you know that it’s over, you’ll start to notice more signs that your love has died for this person. According to Black Media Scoop, there are eleven signs that signal you are over your relationship. BMS reports that if you’re not compatible anymore, it’s likely that you won’t last much longer. Take a couple who married young, let’s say straight out of high school. They’ve been married for ten years and are now in completely different places in life. When the two met, both were from a small town, were close knit with their families and were more like like social moths then butterflies. Now, the wife has come out of her shell, has gotten a big city job and wants to spread her wings by moving and meeting new people. While the husband is still that same guy she met back in high school and shows no interest in leaving his hometown or big city living. If  they stay together, one or both of them will end up unhappy.

BMS also reports that settling and having trouble saying “I love you” are also signs that you are ready to find someone new. If you’ve pictured a certain type of guy that you want in your life and the one you have doesn’t meet one of those qualifications then the relationship may not last much longer. You’ll get tired of him not really being what you wanted in the first place and end up miserable. The most obvious reason people get together is that they love each other. If you’ve been having difficulty showing or even saying that you love your significant other or it literally bothers you to use the phrase, you’re probably over him/her.

After reading this, does any of it apply to you or someone you know? There are always signs that something is going or about to go wrong, we just have to pay attention to where they’re taking us. For the extended version of this list, purchase my new book, “Am I in a Bad Relationship?”

Dr. O

The post Is Your Relationship Headed for the Rocks?? appeared first on AskDrO.com.

Too many people take the nonchalant approach when it comes to electing our political figures. They either don’t care enough to figure out who they want to run the country or they just join the bandwagon. Neither is a good approach. Choose your official because you believe in what they stand for, not because someone told you too.

Every four years we have the opportunity to pick our country’s leader and we should have pride in doing so no matter what we are age. Speaking of age, the young or first-time voters came out the “wood works” to support the 2008 election. A support that hadn’t been seen in this demographic for a while.

According to Project Vote:

 In First-Time Voters in the 2008 Election, Minnite finds that new voters accounted for 12 percent of the votes cast in 2008, and that they voted for Obama over McCain by slightly more than two-to-one.  In all, first-time voters cast an estimated 10 million ballots for Obama, comprising 15 percent of the total vote.

Yes, the young voters had a magnificent turnout in 2008 but I’m not catering this post just to them. I want to encourage everyone who is able to cast their ballot. You may have to wait in lines wrapped around buildings today (since you didn’t take advantage of the early voting process) but it will be worth it to know that you’ve had your say in this election. Just bite the bullet and do it. It’s free and you’ll probably meet some interesting people while standing in that endless line.

Rock the vote!

Photo source: http://www.forbes.com/pictures/fi45ljife/first-u-s-presidential-debate-of-2012-election/

http://www.lmcc-tv.org/lmcc-election.html

The post Let Your Voice Be Heard appeared first on AskDrO.com.

Patrice Baylor Leigh

The post Dr.O Gets Book Review! appeared first on AskDrO.com.

Even though Chris Brown is a celebrity, he’s still a son, who’s father cares about him deeply.  His father, Clinton Brown, allegedly admitted that he does not approve of Chris’ relationship with Rihanna.  Clinton claims that the two may be more than just “good friends.”

Papa Brown has urged the singer to distance his relationship with ex-girlfriend Rihanna.  He insisted that after the whole deal after the two got into a huge fight after a pre-Grammy awards party, it would be best for his career if he left the girl alone.

Back in 2009,  Rihanna pressed (and later dropped) charges against Chris Brown for assaulting her.  Pictures of her face after the beating went viral, and the incident took a toll on both of the artists.  Even years later, the singer would do interviews on his new music but the situation would not boil down and it caused Chris to get angry all over again.

Now, the two have regained their strength and are both make in the entertainment business headstrong, and Papa Brown doesn’t want to mess that up.

“I do not condone everything that goes on with Chris but I love my son with all my being,”  Papa Brown told Star Magazine.  ”I am always concerned about him… He can make his own decisions. But, as a concerned parent, I would rather they not have any involvement.”

He added his 23-year-old son placed his relationship with Rihanna as just “Friends – that’s extent of it.”  Of Papa Brown knows that “when you’re that emotionally involved with someone and have a history, it could cause problems.”

Spoken like a REAL MAN!

When Rihanna decided to make amends with the man who abused her and feature him on two new tracks, her fans were outraged!!

Chris Brown has since then “moved on” to his new girlfriend Karreuche Tran, a model.  Tran claims that she doesn’t have anything against her boyfriend and Rihanna’s relationship.  That is the least of her worries.

However, the two have allegedly been spotted in the same club together sending messages with their eyes.  A step that Rihanna is willing to take to get her ex-lover back.

A source told RadarOnline, “They have probably hooked up no more than half a dozen times in the past year.”  ”Rihanna doesn’t care if she were to get public backlash if they were to reconcile, she is the one calling the shots now, which she likes.”

That is not professional, as they claim their relationship is strictly business.  And neither is it right, if Chris has moved on to Tran, and Rihanna to Drake, Meek Mill, etc. etc.

Papa Brown has given Chris his words of wisdom, primarily warning his son after the club brawl between Chris and Drake.

Hopefully, Chris will heed to his father’s advice before things go down hill.

What do you think?  If Chris Brown is ‘only friends’ with Rihanna, should he be concerned with what his father says?  Or should he listen to his father’s gut feeling and cut Rihanna off… again?

Let me know!

Dr. O

The post Chris Brown’s Voted “NAY” On Friendship With Rihanna appeared first on AskDrO.com.

Well, that day has arrived.  Atlanta’s Fulton County Jail is running a contest to inmates that encourages them to pick the jail’s new locks.

Any inmate that can get the lock open will receive free food and personal hygiene items from the commissary, which is used as currency in the jail.

The new locks are being tested to protect the inmates in their cells and away from each other.

Col. Mark Adger said, “We’re going to get our worst offenders and put them in there and they’re going to be true to their natures.”  ”I’ve got nine cells and we’ll fill all nine with our worst lock-popping offenders and we’ll see if they can get out.”

The locks have been a problem since the reconstructed building reopened 23 years ago.

In the past, inmates have been able to pop the locks extremely easily allowing them to get into the common areas or even to others in their cell block.  Although inmates and staff have been in danger, the general public has not because they would face serious blocking-hurdles if they ever tried to break out of jail.

The locks have made a federal judge and his court make a lawsuit concerning the sometimes dangerous conditions inside the jail.  Fulton County’s jail has been operating under a federal consent order since 2003 and one of the remaining issues is the lock on the doors.

Calvin Lightfoot, the expert who is overseeing the judge’s lawsuit, agrees that the contest is a good idea.

“It may be unconventional, but the FBI and bankers will hire bank robbers to consult with them on how they can make the banks better. It’s the same thing. The inmates are going to do all they can to defeat these locks. It sounds like a novel idea to me. … They have to find a way to keep these inmates from getting in and out of these cells.”

A few years ago, the company that made the existing locks cut production.  Now, the needed parts are unavailable.

Sheriff Ted Jackson, the one responsible for the jail, has asked Fulton County Commission for $6 million to replace the locks.

The commission is still deciding when, or even if, they will fix the broken locks.

So now, the jail is forced to improvise with the contest.  They have replaced the locks of nine cells in one zone and is ready for testing.

Several companies have proposed many offers, but one company out of Decatur, Ala., specifically designed a new lock and mount for the jail.  The newer lock has a green light  that indicates if it is securely locked, a feature that the old models don’t have.

It will cost $166 for the 1,300 cell doors that are on hinges, and the cost increases for the doors that slide open and closed.

Adger added that all other attempts have failed, “This will solve the problem once and for all.”

How do you feel about the jail holding this contest?  Is it a smart idea?  Why or why not?

Let me know in your comments below!

Dr. O

The post No Lie: Atlanta Jail Asks Inmates To Break Out For Free Food! appeared first on AskDrO.com.

Ryan was born with down-syndrome and a congenital heart defect.  After a recent surgery, doctors told Ryan’s parents, Diane and Erik, that there was nothing else they could do for his heart.  The couple gave it some thought, and made a painful decision to cut off Ryan’s supportive care and sign a DNR (do not resuscitate).

Like other families who have faced the grief of learning their child won’t live much longer, the Roberts family created a bucket list.  They imagined that this would help everyone get through this troubling time.  And boy were they right!

So far, Ryan has pet a puppy, played with finger paint, gotten a speeding ticket in the middle of a hospital hallway, and even drank a (root) beer for his 21st (month) birthday!  How cute!

Diane and Erik began receiving questions how her family and friends could help or what they could do.  They always responded that they didn’t want anything.

“I said, just go create a memory with your kids. Just go put a banana split down in front of your kids for dinner and watch their faces light up. No chicken, rice and broccoli tonight, just ice cream. They’re going to remember that forever,” said Diane.  ”Watch them smile.”

Soon, Diane’s friend Melissa Neidhardt started “Ryan’s Banana Split Party.”  Using the Facebook event, she invited fellow parents and friends asking them to help fulfill Diane’s wish.  Neidhardt wrote in the description for the event:

“I am throwing Ryan his very own Banana Split Party. Although he will not be able to have one, I thought it would nice if we could all have one for him, whether you have children or not. So some night for dinner, have just a banana split but take a picture and post it to Facebook event page so they can see all the people that are fulfilling their wish!!! So who cares if your children don’t get their veggies one night for dinner, allow them to “break the rules” for just one night and think of a special little boy while you’re doing it!!”

The initial 200 participants Melissa invited grew to over 300,000 Facebook invites and 25,000 people “attending” by June 20, only two weeks later.  All over the world, families have posted pictures of their “Banana Split Dinners” in support of Ryan and his family, also posting their positive messages on the page.  Grieving mothers and fathers have even shared their own story in hopes to encourage Diane and Erik.

This is only one example of how social networks can be used to bring communities together.  In Texas, a 4-year-old with terminal cancer Dyrk Burcie, has inspired a similar movement.  Firefighters who work with Dyrk’s father, Dameon, organized a photo shoot to spell out the little boy’s name with fire.  Other firefighters caught the idea and began to post nice messages.  Now, Dyrk’s Facebook page is full of pictures of fire departments, sports teams, and community members dedicated to Dyrk.

To see pictures of families supporting these children, click here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/20/ryans-banana-split-party-_n_1612049.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl23%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D172047#slide=1120751

We wish grieving families all over the world the very best!

Dr. O

The post Mom Asks Family To Have Ice Cream Dinner For Dying Son appeared first on AskDrO.com.